Funny Bumper Stickers

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Only quitters go to rehab.

53.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

EARTH FIRST! We'll ruin other planets later.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

The sooner I fall behind, the more time I'll have to catch up.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Conserve water. Shower with a friend.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.